Deep Down
by BasementOfMyHeart
Summary: There was something that they didn't want to talk about. Or even think about. But it was there.
1. Chapter 1

**I'm back with my new (first) story. I decided to give it a try again.  
****English isn't my first language, so please bare with me :) Let me know what you think!**

* * *

There had always been tension. Sometimes hardly noticeable, sometimes so thick you could cut it with a knife. But they didn't give in to it – for many logical reasons.

First of all, they both didn't know it was there. She thought it was only her feeling it, he thought it was only him.

Second… Well, his reasons were actually the same as hers: he was going to get married – in fact, he wanted it to happen as soon as possible - and he loved his fiancée very much.

She was also going to get married – in fact, it almost happened a few weeks ago – and she also loved her fiancé very much.

And that's how it should have stayed.

Will loved Emma and Rachel loved Finn. Nothing could ever come between those couples – almost everyone loved them together.

But lately, something strange was happening.

* * *

Yes, she's had a crush on him. But that was a few years ago, and she was more mature now. She had gotten over it. Well, mostly. Deep down she still wanted to know what his lips on hers would feel like. And she just couldn't get that idea out of her head. Sometimes it became stronger when he looked at her or accidentally touched her. But he didn't know.

* * *

Well, he didn't know… But he did feel the same way. He knew she's had a crush on him before, and sometimes he couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if he didn't tell her to back off. Well, _she_ was the one that came to her senses just before he could tell her to, but he liked to think that he was the one who had put an end to it. Because he was her teacher and it was the right thing to do.

* * *

When Rachel slept with Finn, she totally went for it. Because she really cared about him, despite what other people were thinking. Yeah, sometimes Finn could be a little clumsy or unintelligent (that's what she liked to call it, 'dumb' sounded too mean), but he was a good guy. And he liked her. He was all she could have hoped for when she first started glee club. She never would have thought that by now she would be engaged to him… It somehow felt like a victory.

But she was scared. Scared of the way Mr. Schuester made her body feel when she was around him. Finn wasn't able to do that, not even when he was actually making love to her. Mr. Schuester didn't even have the intention to do that kind of thing – he was her teacher, for god's sake. The best she could get was a pat on her shoulder, or, when he was really happy, a hug. She would always remember that time when he gave her that star thingy (even though she's had bigger trophies). He had kissed her on the cheek. She would never forget the way he smelled, the way his stubbles felt on her skin.

Rachel had wanted it to last forever.

When she failed her NYADA audition, Finn comforted her. Mr. Schuester didn't do anything at that moment, he just stared at her. She couldn't tell what was going on in his mind, and she didn't even want to know. All she could think about was how her dreams were shattered.

* * *

In fact, he didn't know what was going on in his mind either. He wanted to comfort her and tell her that it was all going to be okay. But he knew it wasn't, because this was all she had ever wanted. He almost felt as devastated as she must have been feeling.

But he was also confused. Because he knew that if he really would have comforted her, there could have been a chance that he couldn't control himself. After all, he was a man. And he hadn't had sex in a long time, because Emma just wasn't ready. He was fine with that (after all, her OCD wasn't something they could just ignore), but sometimes he could punch himself in the face. Yes, he wanted Emma, but when he was teaching glee club, he wanted Rachel even more. He wondered what it would feel like to kiss her, to feel her skin against his, to rock- he stopped himself right there, his hands turned into fists to keep himself from thinking further.

Instead, he focused on the crying Rachel in front of him. He just couldn't do it – he had to walk away. Finn would comfort her. He was her fiancé after all.

God, how he wished for Emma to give into him one of these days. It would take his mind of of other things. And by other things he meant Rachel.

He told himself he only wanted her sexually. He didn't want to have any kind of relationship with her, aside from the totally appropriate teacher-student one. They would be the worst couple ever. Spend most of their days fighting. Talking about which movie they wanted to see… No, they would probably agree on that. They both liked the same kind of movies. Same with musicals. They would be going to see Broadway musicals whenever they had the chance… Their kids would be named after the biggest Broadway stars; Rachel would probably want to call their daughter Barbra. Or Patty. And he could choose a name for a boy.

Wow, he really went overboard with this scenario. There were marks of his nails in the palms of his hands, that's how hard he'd clenched his fists.

_He really wanted her._

But he couldn't have her. Man, he had to seduce Emma this weekend. He had to do something to get Rachel out of his head. Besides, she probably wasn't thinking about him at all. She's most likely gonna cry all weekend over her failed audition… He couldn't blame her. Maybe there would be another chance for her to get what she wanted. She was Rachel Berry, after all.

And he didn't want her.

I do not want her, he said to himself. Will, keep yourself together. You love Emma. She's all you've ever wanted.

* * *

Indeed, Rachel spent her weekend crying over her failed audition. Finn was there to hold her when she burst into tears over and over again. She had been walking in her PJs all day and she didn't want to talk.

She didn't even care that Finn was just sitting there the whole time, waiting for her to come cry in his arms again.

But she didn't find comfort in his arms. She just couldn't find rest. It felt like Finn wasn't mature enough to deal with her pain… But who else could she go to? She immediately forbid her mind to go to the place where she didn't want it to go. Because that was just wrong. Finn's arms were probably more comforting than Mr. Schue's, because the feeling she got from Finn's arms was pretty different than from Mr. Schue's arms, which were a lot stronger. And more manlier. And more protective._ And oh so sexy_…

'Do you want a drink Rachel? You've finally stopped crying, so I thought…' She loved how Finn immediately came up with excuses.

'Yeah, fine,' she muttered. She really had stopped crying, she realized. What was that all about? When she called back the thoughts that she had right before Finn said that… O sweet Lord, she thought. This can never happen again.

Yeah, she'd always had a soft spot for her teacher. There were days when she didn't think about that at all, but the last few months the feeling only became stronger. And she had to stop it. Because she loved Finn.

When he came back with a glass of soy milk, she smiled at him. 'Do you want to go upstairs with me?'

He looked confused. 'What for?'

'You know…'

'Right now? But you're…'

'I'm okay. I just really need you right now.'

He smiled awkwardly. 'F-fine…'

Rachel knew he wouldn't say no to her. Thank god he didn't, because she would have been stuck with those depressing thoughts all day. And maybe would help her forget. About her audition. About other things. And with other things, she meant Mr. Schuester.

She loved Finn. Yeah, she really did.


	2. Chapter 2

A few months had passed, but most importantly, a lot of things had changed.

Will felt like a hero: becoming national champions and teacher of the year. On top of that, he had finally slept with Emma - it was the most beautiful night of their lives.  
Rachel graduated and got - surprisingly - into NYADA, plus she and Finn had broken up before she went to New York. Yes, a lot of things had changed.

Emma asked him once what he missed most about not having last year's seniors around anymore. He told her he missed their spirit and enthusiasm, but that the others surely would make up for that this year.  
But when he thought about what he missed most, he had to admit that it wasn't a 'what', it was a 'who'.

Rachel lived her life to the fullest. Because of her failed audition, she still had that constant feeling of having to make up for that. So she did the best that she could, she even spent all her free time on school. And when she'd finally have some time for herself, she'd read books. To take her mind of of all the things she'd been missing. Well, she didn't miss Lima, or McKinley High. Sometimes she didn't even miss Finn - and she felt guilty about that -, or her other friends. But though she didn't want to realize it; she did miss one person.

They both knew their lives were never going to be the same. He still worked as a teacher in Ohio, married to a woman he loved very much. She was on Broadway in New York, getting ready to conquer the world with her talent.

But they would meet again. Someday.

* * *

**Author's note: I decided to add this (very) short finish, because I had the feeling that the story needed this ending. **


End file.
